After school

Dear V

I thought we might shake it up a bit and ease into a new trajectory for our letters. So let me start again.

Hey you, it’s Michelle
I hope you’re doing well and I am very sorry I’ve been totally MIA in the last few months. I blame it on the after school blues that leaves everything you try to accomplish feel supremely unsatisfying and ultimately unfinished.
Anyway, I  though I might share what I did after my final exams where I would attempt to distract myself from the inevitable date the results are released- that of which is in a few days.
In my head I’ve kind of organised it into segments so I hope I translate my brain into coherency correctly.

1. Week One 3th-8th Nov

Moved in with my cousin for a week in Canberra. It was just me and her doing the shopping and me doing the dinners. Moving in was a very spontaneous decision which left me with a lacking supply of clean undergarments… (sorry TMI). But that is besides the point because despite that downfall, the whole experience of living (almost) by myself was inturn invaluable. My cousin was also going through her equivalent to HSC as it is a different education system in the state ACT.
   
The week passed quickly and it was when I began to flesh out a story idea for my book. I also mastered a yoga inversion (with a wall)! The good thing was she had her P’s. So we would blast Katy Perry, Iggy, and Eminem on the way back home whilst driving at 90 in a 110 speed zone.

2. Formal 10th & 13th Nov

Having a forced laugh for the sake of photos

Aftermath

Formal was essentially closure for most. It was lovely to see everyone glammed up and heaps of photos were taken and all that necessary stuff.

  

I wore my favourite dress to my formal on the 10th, which was my Mother’s originally. I like to think of the colour as a “Moonlight Blue,” and it was made of satin which just felt amazing against my skin. The back of my dress was the game-changer though- that was what got me hooked. It was such a creative design and its simplicity was something that totally won me.

I did my own makeup with my characteristic dark lippy which apparently gave me look an ‘Old Hollywood’ look. Eyes were very natural and highlight and contour was just a little more than subtle.
The second formal I went to was with a good friend of mine. I wore a classic black number with a sneaky slit at the side. Of course dark lip and good bronzing to finish it off.

3. Schoolies 27th Nov- 2nd Dec

I went to Nelsons Bay with a group of friends, which was about 2 hours from Sydney and like any other schoolies event… we had a lot of fun (I’ll leave that to your imagination).

  
 

We stayed at a resort 10mins from the bay called the Mantra Aqua. There was a gym we barely used and a shared pool we frequented often. The local shops were mostly of the surf and beach variety, the bay was calm and there was an option of parasailing and canoeing. The bay game me a bad reaction which made my skin bumpy :( Nevertheless I came back for another swim.

4. Melbourne School’s Cup Volleyball comp. 7th- 12 Dec

Melbourne's iconic graffiti lane

View from the apartment 

So much better than last year for sure! We won 2 out of about 9 games and a good number of sets.
We stayed at an apartment at Docklands and so in our spare time we could venture to the city via a free tram service that runs every 12mins to the city- It was tram number 35 if you were curious.



One morning two of my graduate friends and I left for the city which was a 10 min ride. We were in search for an alleyway- hipster-cafe which we didn’t really find at the end but we came to the conclusion that “hipster cafes are too hipster to be found.” It holds a level of legitimacy does it not?
We went to a small cafe on Flinders St call ‘Journal.’ I ordered a Chai Latte which came out to be $5.00 which was reasonable I thought. Then we got lost in H&M, jumped in a photo booth twice and bought our secret Santa presents.

Chai Latte

Basically the trip was more shopping than anything. Melbourne Architecture is so on point so Sydney better pickup their game. My wallet is more than truly maxed out unfortunately. Time for a new job!

5. Katy Perry Concert

Tonight is the concert! We bought tickets in March and so many friends have  raved about how good her show was so I am beyond excited yet I don’t know what to wear.
All in all, living away from home multiple times has in someway matured me- or that’s what keep telling myself. I have more confidence

Graduation- The Beginning, The End or Both?

Dear V

Sorry for not writing any sooner.

I’ve needed the time to accumulate my thoughts and bring coherency to my feelings.

I have graduated from high school.

I will be completing my secondary education by the end of October- signaled by my very last exam this time next month. Is it strange that I still partially remember my high school orientation day when I was just at the end of Year 6. That was the first time I met some of the people who would fill my life for the next 6 years. What a startling thought. And as I recall this memory, I remember the day before the first day of high school when I was contacting my exercise books under the air-conditioner of my living room, I was anxious about changing myself. Presenting to the world a new me. Or rather the real me. I personally believe, given my experience within an education system- that primary school contained much more peer pressure than high school. In retrospect I can see it so inherently that I’m ashamed that even my younger-self couldn’t recognise it. Parents, teachers, mentors etc. tell children that its ok to be unique, to deviate from the majority.

How is it that peer pressure exist then? That we confine ourselves to some prescribed ideology or expectation. When we relinquish ourselves to the majority. I tell you now friend, when you find yourself in such a dark place, think about your future, past the inky cloud that is suffocating you at the present, strain for the open air behind it- it is beckoning to you. Don't hide or cower. I know it is easier said than done- I understand it so, because I too have been there.

It will feel so unnatural even painful at first, but make a habit of exerting Yourself and it will begin to feel so natural. 

I recently had an email from Sydney University- the most prestigious university in Australia, probably listed among the big guns of the world- inviting me to an interview for a Combined Law degree I was applying for. I can honestly say I cannot remember what or how I answered the questions they asked- considering it was me vs. three academics, only the fact that I was outside in the waiting room re-reading my prepared answers (that would subsequently not be asked) and of course walking out of that beautiful and eerily intimidating Law faculty, dressed in my mother’s business suit.

Why did I just tell you that? Well it was such a profound moment that I realised the future was dawning. It was blinding my eyes, its rays hitting me right in the face. But really isn’t the future always upon us? Just around the bend of the road, the next foot step, the next thought? 
Life is so infinitely mysterious and uncertain. I have recently understood that. I mean really understood that. I used to say it half-heartily, throwing it about and not realising what it meant. Though I am yet to truly understand the magnitude of those words myself. I don’t think I will ever.

I’ll leave you with this serendipitous photo I took on the final day of high school, a few hours before the graduation ceremony. My phone len opened at just this particular moment and this angle to capture this beautiful sunset.

A few hours before graduation '14

At that moment I felt so much potential. It was thrumming through my veins, carried like oxygen by my blood.
The sun was too bright in the distance, though it was ok to look even though it was painful because it was so beautiful. Gently disappearing was the sun, and even the present moment, which becomes the past.

Definitely more beginning than the end, but nevertheless both. 

Love, 

M

Rain, Passivity, Sharks

Dear V
Let me tell you how to not let someone rain on your parade.
1. Focus in yourself for a second. Close your eyes and control your breathing until it slows significantly- now your calmer you won't do anything stupid that you will regret
2. Smile, because the best revenge is not to show weakness. Don't patronize though. That person is like a shark, so treat them like it. If there's blood they can smell it, so make sure none of the blood is yours. Soon they will get bored and find someone else to molester.
3. Passivity is key in this situation. Don't fight the tide but also don't let them walk all over you. You have standards and you have the right to be respected. Like number two it's like a diversion.
4. Tell them "y'all raining on my parade (insert noun)" approaches include sarcasm, aggression or any in between.
5. Be empathetic and try to decipher why they're doing this. It will be a lot easier to let go of what has made you tick. Just like you they're human too. They have problems aswell and everyone should not be so ignorant of this.
P.s If keeping this in mind was helpful for me than maybe it might be the same for you.
Love
Michelle