Recently I cut my hair for pantene beautiful lengths and its no longer up to my waist but hovering precariously over my shoulders. I would be lying if I said it WASN'T Like an amputation. Coz it felt like it!!! Well its in a zip lock bag- the hair that is... And it still smells like green apples which is the products I used. Also I measured it the other day and it is a whopping 55cm!!!! That's just more than half a metre!!! Now my head is lighter seriously. Thus thing weights about 300g I swear.
If you were thinking of doing this or shaving your head... Do it. It's like giving blood but easier. I'm not downing giving blood alright. Hell give blood and chop off some hair!! Props to you.
I did this with two of my friends from school and this was an invigorating experience. I was planning to do this earlier this year but something happened and I decided to grow it out more. No one knows "this" certain event but those in my family so I kind of want to keep it that way for now.
So it didit and I'm sending the hair away tomorrow which is a Sunday and it will be turned into a wig I suppose. I'm thinking of taking this to my school and making this a thing. That would mean going through this vigorous selection and preadvertising stage before the social justice council and what not but I'm getting my two amigos from before to help me.
This just got me thinking of next year when I'm in my final year at highschool and that my year will be the leaders and how the school will just crash and burn because of us. Exaggeration but any thing is possible. So there we go this could be my legacy Goethe school, I could come back every three years and organize a pony tail cutting ses.
But really about next year.... I just can believe it.
So soon yet so anticipated and dreaded.
And i kind of don't know what to do with my life. Like either follow family expectations (you know how it is being Asian) and going into science etc. Or doing something that I recently enjoy. That's the thing I enjoy them both .... To an extent but choosing what I feel will be the most satisfying is the hardest. Even then will what I choose be really what I want or is it just the influence from an accumulation of family expectations.
What I am the most worried about is if I don't take chances now to savour for my later days, I can imagine how that will gnaw my insides to some mess of missed opportunities and regrets.
I know this might be a bit much for someone my age to thinking about, but I think this has always been me. I remember when I was in primary school. In about year 4 I made a friend upset by just observing something she did and I just told her. She cried. And I vowed to take the upmost care when interacting with her. I noticed I was a bit cruel to my other long time friend and so sycophantic to this one girl. That a thought I owed her something.
And like everything else she changed. Alot. Almost like an American highschool drama. Like she totally just changed and soo... Like. It's funny because this not an exaggeration of how some people at school speak. I remember about yr 6 in a phase of total peer pressure I began saying "oh my God" instead of "oh my gosh" because that wasn't cool. That was the word cool. Like wearing shorts on PE days, not playing tag but sitting and eating and gossiping, name calling etc. Now I feel sorry for those that were the victim of our name calling because I was part of a big group of girls and there were only about a ration of 1 boy to 4 girls. There were 15 kids in yr 6. Do the maths. I know this is not a confession stall but honestly I was just going along with it never participated but just verged just enough in the circle to not fall out and sit alone. Primary school had so much more peer pressures I think.
But highschool has allowed my to seek words like individual, classy, different, totes a babe. And I think I did just that. I know that I was lucky because some of the people I have seen resort to cutting. It's so common and that's all I will say besides the fact that I know these certain girls are definitely under my year group.
Moving on though what recently gave me so much pride of myself and my journey would be being encouraged to be a candidate for school captain or any other position in the student council. I wrote a darn good speech I will had to say. I didn't get SC but I got House captain.
I will hopefully remember this -during the announcing ceremony my category was the last to be called. Soon many people commented about my speech, giving me much hope because there is vice cap and the cap. So when the principal said my name. It was crazy the clapping heightened significantly I hear whoops and my name and nickname. After the assembly there was a rush of people to get out of the hall, I was tackled in hugs by so many people. It was so amazing.
Its been three weeks since and my friend told me that she had no doubts despite going up against 9 others unlike the other 3 houses with only a maximum of 5.... That I would get it. It's hard not to be haughty. But that's what I want to avoid. Haughtiness from over praising. If you know me you probably wonder why I easily dismiss your complements with a thanks and quickly return you with one because I have either been waited for an opportunity to say that I really envy your hair or your new keyring or lunch box what ever. Here is your reason.
P.s Emma by Jane Austen actually has substance
P.p.s I actually didn't finish reading let alone read 3 chapters consecutively but attempted about 6 times.
Finis
